Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
