The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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