i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
