I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
