he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize