Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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