We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
