4 words: hood of his car
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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