You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize