I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
