As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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