Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize