If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
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