Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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