Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
