She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
