I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
