I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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