I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am naked and annoyed.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
