Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
