shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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