So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
