I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
