yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize