so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
