Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
