Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
