Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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