I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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