In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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