Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
