he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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