That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
