take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
