Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don't tell me you're on acid again
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
