i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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