Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
