I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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