I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
