I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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