Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bring me that man meat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
