Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
