any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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