Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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