I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
