I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
