I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
