The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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