People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
