Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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