You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
