You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
