Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so explain again why im purple
no
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
