ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize