I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
