if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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